Hey kids--we're hard at work on our new show, The Future Sucks, which goes up at the PIT on August 13 at 9:30pm. For tickets, click this handy link: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/119131.



Thanks for sticking with us during a quiet July. Here's hoping you've enjoyed the oppressive humidity as much as we have.



Love,

Think Pound

Now we're done with our Creek Sketch Invitational show and can look back at one productive month. Because of all you kids, we performed seven shows in June! Seven! Including two at Snubfest in Chicago, which is very far from New York City. And the people at Snubfest called us "brilliant," too, which we're going to take at face value and not as something they said just to be nice!!

There's more where that came from, though. Arriving on August 13 is a brand-new Think Pound show at the PIT, one of our favorite venues in the world. There are also some other super-secret surprises that we'll hopefully have for you very soon.

You're all the best. We mean it.

Love,
Think Pound

Think Pound’s crazy June is nigh, with a total of six (SIX!!!) performances in two cities, all in a little more than a week’s span. So: Chicagoans, catch us at SnubFest on Saturday, June 5 at 8 and 10 p.m. at the Chemically Imbalanced Theatre (details at snubfest.com). New Yorkers, come see our short play “Hipster World” at the Shortened Attention Span Festival June 10–13 at the Players Theatre in Greenwich Village.



Want to see us after that? Why not book us? Shoot us an email at zstp45@gmail.com; we’d love to entertain and appall guests at your bar mitzvah, corporate event, fundraiser, psychology experiment, or—if you really insist—comedy show.

Friends, New Yorkers, Countrymen,



Thank you to everyone who came out this past Friday. Laughs were had, baked goods were sold, and with your support we almost have enough money to make it to Chicago and back! All in all, a successful and joyous night.



If you couldn't make it and are feeling horrendously guilty, wondering how you could ever repay us, worry not - you can still give us all of your money. Just head on over to www.thinkpound.com and click on our good friend the DONATE button. The more you give, the more we begin to love you again.



Now on to Chicago! Who is arranging the caravan to follow us?



Love,

Think Pound

Help Think Pound get to Chicago with your money! We certainly don't have any of our own!



Here's the show info:



Friday, May 21st

8:30pm (Sharp!)

upstairs at the Brooklyn Lyceum

227 4th Avenue

Brooklyn, NY 11215

$9 advance, $10 day-of-show



Advance tickets here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/111113 . Buy, buy, buy!!



This show also features very, very special guests Slightly Known People, some of the funniest people in the whole world and one of our favorite comedy acts.



Ticket sales from the Brooklyn Lyceum show will fund our upcoming trip to perform at Snubfest (snubfest.com) in Chicago--more on that later. Mostly, it's going to be funny and fun--we're busting out both fan-favorites and crazy new sketches. Plus, there will be baked goods and free stickers.



Anyway, about that Snubfest: we'll take the stage twice on 6/5, and look forward to seeing the shiny faces of all our Chicago fans, by which we mean our one friend who is a grad student at Northwestern. We are seriously excited to hit the road--and thanks to your attendance at this New York show, we may even have enough gasoline to drive back home.



See you May 21st!!! (Did we mention you can buy tickets here -- http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/111113 ?!?!)



Love,

Think Pound

NEW YORK -- Think Pound will perform two history-changing shows in one weekend: Friday at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and Sunday at the Tank.



"Fans should look at the 'upcoming shows' sidebar to the right for more information," wrote Matthew Zellman in this news update, as if here were quoting someone else. "Tickets for the Tank are on sale only at the door," he continued, "but you should make reservations for the Friday show at the UCB by clicking this link: http://bit.ly/aWz5FM."



Local comedy fans agree that they will all attend these shows and laugh uproariously.

NEW YORK—Think Pound fans will automatically enter to win a free Think Pound tee-shirt every time they tweet @ThinkPound from today through Valentine’s Day, in honor of their love for Think Pound. Then, the comedy troupe—recently named the most influential figure of the 2000s by an organization they invented—will choose one (1) winner and bestow upon them this magnificent gift. But they have to warn you, they’re not shipping the thing, so you’d better live in NYC and come to one of their shows to retrieve it.



What can you tweet about Think Pound? You can promote their videos--including the recent premiere “Exciting New Tampon,” which is at the link bit.ly/84JtSK. You can plug one of their upcoming shows. Or, as @mjstoff recently did, you can nominate them for a Shorty Award in the #humor category in #nyc at the link http://shortyawards.com/thinkpound. “I’m not sure what a Shorty Award is,” said this dude I just asked, “but Think Pound is tied for 68th in the humor category!”



Every tweet counts as a new entry! Imagine that! If you tweet “@ThinkPound” 100 times, you’ll have 100 entries. This is because Think Pound wants you to promote them tirelessly, like an obsessive undead promotional army.

NEW YORK—The Global Relevancy Institute (GRI), a nonprofit organization that seeks to educate the public about pertinent events, personalities, and issues, placed Think Pound—New York City’s only sketch comedy troupe—at the head of its list of the Top One Most Influential Figures of the Decade.



“When the ‘00s began, Think Pound didn’t even exist,” said Matthew Zellman, a founding member of both GRI and Think Pound, “but by the end of 2009 they had conquered all of New York City’s most esteemed brick-and-mortar comedy venues while reaching a worldwide fan base through digital technology.” He went on to fill in the details, citing the group’s critically acclaimed performances at Crash Mansion, the Tank, and RiFiFi, sold-out engagements at the Peoples Improv Theatre and the Upright Citizens Brigade theatre, and nearly 30,000 video views on YouTube.



“Only one group has created ‘Magician Obstetrician,’ ‘Drink Responsibly,’ ‘The Executive,’ and the other most iconic sketches of the decade,” said leading Think Pounder/GRI analyst Josh Daniels. “That group is Think Pound.”



Think Pound begins is quest to become the most influential figure of the next decade on January 6, when the group performs at the Tank in New York City. The show, Pilot Season, features less-influential but still quite hilarious hosts (and Think Pound buddies) Chris and Paul.

NEW YORK--Experts fear that Think Pound fanatics may overwhelm the servers of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre website as they eagerly snap up reservations for the troupe's 10/23 appearance at Backyard Brawl, where the comedians will compete with Bleak! Comedy for the title of Funniest Sketch Group in the Universe.



Fans are already flocking to the website link http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/reservations/create/15536 , anxious to be sure that they have a seat for what many anticipate will be the most entertaining, hilarious occurrence to ever take place in New York City, the United States, or the world.



"These reservations are sure to sell out quickly," says a very qualified research scientist, "especially because there is no service charge for making them. In other words, you'd have to be stupid NOT to make a reservation. Only a sucker would not make one."



Prognosticators believe that the high interest from Think Pound fans is a good sign, as the audience will choose the winner of Backyard Brawl. "Think Pound fans have excellent senses of humor and love Think Pound," remarks another very smart person who deserves to be quoted in a news article, "and they will certainly vote their heroes to fame and fortune."

NEW YORK -- Think Pound fans went into a mad purchasing frenzy upon learning that tickets to the troupe's upcoming September 18 show at the PIT were on sale.

Using the website Brown Paper Tickets, members of the general public can buy tickets to the 7 PM comedy extravaganza from the comfort of their own homes.

"I can hardly believe how convenient this is," said an anonymous fan. "Not to mention that attending Think Pound shows, buying dozens of extra tickets for friends and acquaintances, and sometimes handing Think Pound members suitcases full of cash for no apparent reason brings meaning to my otherwise mundane existence."

Experts anticipate overwhelming demand for these tickets, and encourage interested parties to buy as soon as they have available funds. "Buy tickets now!!!" said an anonymous Nobel Prize winning economist. "Think Pound rules!"

NEW YORK -- Preeminent New York City sketch comedy troupe Think Pound--already known for their pioneering artistic work--also broke new technological ground today in debuting their new "web site."

This "web site" will be accessible to fans all throughout the world at www.thinkpound.com, and will provide information on reviews, upcoming shows, and silly videos.

In conjunction with other "sites" on the "World Wide Web," including (but not limited to) "YouTube," "The Facebook," "Twitter," and "MySpace," this bold new interactive home promises to give Think Pound a strong multimedia presence in homes and offices around the globe.

Says Think Pound member Michael Rehse, who designed the site, "we're all very excited." Fellow pounder Matthew Zellman adds "so wait, where do I click to log in?"